Edging to 40

Umm.. i think my blogs are starting to sound a bit like a mood hoover! LOL Someone just introduced this word this morning and i love it! Mood hoovers! LOL


So i'll try to lighten up a bit- although actually, the previous post was not written on a low point, but rather on a pondering one... Anyway.....i've just spent a weekend with some amazing people celebrating a dear friend's birthday. It was awesome awesome awesome; because the people were fantastic! Great energy, good fun! Hahahaha... i think at one point i was the oldest person there! How did i get here? LOL


I am edging closer now...I never thought i would feel this way - as in, not really looking forward to 40. I look forward to everything!! LOL I don't feel 40 - but hey, loads of people say this don't they?! There are some signs of it i guess.... i hurt more - although... i am more intense now, than i have ever been with whatever i am doing - ok, maybe not as intense as wakeboarding in my 20's - it did hurt then too. I still enjoy spinning on the dance floor till the wee hours in the morning, although, it is a bit hard to keep going these days... some clothes now look wrong but lots still look alright! I still have romantic ideas but am less emotionally unstable - which is a BIG plus! phew!


30's have been amazing!!! Was it really?? or was it just a more stable time and so felt better?
Nah... it was good. So were the 20's and all the rest of my life before really! I've been told that the 40's are even better and so i will look forward to it. I will not let it pass without giving it my best shot of course!  ;-)

Energy Vampires

One of the worst things you can take away from someone is their energy. It is so hard to prevent someone from stealing your energy. I guess that is why it is so important to be mindful of our words and actions so as not to meaningly harm someone. And this does not have to mean being restrained in our opinions, but rather in the reason for them. Often, we are projecting our weaknesses and insecurities in our words and actions. Since the more primal of our instinct is to protect ourselves and our loved ones, this normally presents itself as something harmful to the other we perceive as possibly "harmful" towards us. Sometimes our friends do this to us. That just sucks big time. We can only try to understand their actions and be reminded ourselves to be mindful and kind in our words and thoughts....even though it still sucks ;-)

:-)

Just found this and was reminded-


you NEVER forget an epic journey. it may feel awful at the time, but on reflection, you only feel the good stuff :-)

What happened to November??

You can't miss December and January...
Everyone is selling you thoughtful or clever (or just completely pointless) things you can give to friends and family. They are also beginning to insinuate how badly you've been doing all year and how much better you can do next year. There's plenty of body, mind and spirit to renew... If you listen enough, you might just get a bit depressed and start to look for some solution to a problem you did not have to begin with lol

I wonder....do we feel increasingly dissatisfied with our lives because in this age of information, we are stimulated by so much information about what's out there- what we can have, what we don't have, both real and fictional (no, I cannot be a vampire) that we start reaching out for a bigger life, for bigger experiences, for someone else's life...etc. And of courses, we now know that it is impossible to do it all, have it all- because there is no all....its endless! And yet, we are told, no keep reaching for the stars! Let no one tell us it's impossible! We have the power to do it if we put our minds to it, etc.

I guess i myself have been sucked into all this. If not, I could not possibly feel like anything is missing from my life! I have an amazing life, with amazing family and friends. I am free from danger, from being hungry or cold. Drinking water flows from my tap. I have everything I need and an amazing job that bring the most amazing people into my life. More importantly...I have people who love me.... and people I love....
I think.... after awhile you even forget what you're reaching for & I guess that's when you start to feel a bit lost. And maybe since the flow of life is at sonic speed, we should write down little reminders of what it is we want every time we think about it. And while we're at it, maybe we should also write down what we have that make us happy every time we're aware of it.. And watch less tv...

I am currently completely out of balance in everything! Makes me want to laugh saying it, i guess because i am such a control freak. This has been an interesting year in many ways... not because many new things happened but because many things that had not happened for a long thing happened. I am referring mostly to doubts, fears, insecurity, loss of direction, etc!


Fascinating!


Some say I feel like this because i do not have kids and so have no bigger issues to focus on
:-)
Maybe...


It could also be that since December, life has been pretty mad - but in such an amazing way. Don't get me wrong, this is not a rant- because when i look back at it - WOW! How lucky am i to have done all that?? But really...... i think some nothing time is equally important just to catch up with yourself?! This is the probably one of 3 weekends in the whole year that I am actually at home and kinda doing nothing because, actually, I have a full day of catching up with friends - again, not complaining...


I have been trying to catch up with me time on my mat but have been so resistant towards even that this past week that i have only managed one practice :-O The last retreat was so intense and i guess was the pinacle of all the events this year that it was like a little full stop. Perhaps i should not have beaten myself up this week over not practicing or not answering emails or whatever. Instead, i've jumped right into 2012 mode and have been busy planning events already - not complaining, so much fun...


What i am saying is that i probably feel so rubbish at the moment because there is no more. My brain, serotonin, spirit and all are on protest this week and i think today, i should really listen to them....and give them as much time as they need.... and not feel bad and end up eating too much chocolate in search of that good feeling - which never comes from just eating chocolate of course ;-)

Some journey's you walk alone, because nobody else can walk them with you, Your heart will reveal the truth to you if you choose to listen to it, but the truth is never easy to act upon and is not necessarily what's best. 


some people insist on holding your hand to walk with you on your journey... some support you from a distance because they want to give you space to grow
we try so hard to fight those who hang on to us and overlook those who watch us from the sidelines... 


We are mostly our own source of difficulty because we forget  easily...

Autumn Retreat

Weekend of Yoga, Meditation & Music
(l-r) Jason, Me & Itai & Victoria


24th-16th October 2011
Voewood House

Wow... what a weekend! 
Amazing group of participants, perfect weather throughout, lovely food, awesome energy! I went to this with no expectation as we did not know most of the participants. However, having said that, I did feel a surge of excitement the week leading up to Friday. It felt like it was going to be special. Maybe because I had never worked with anyone else on a retreat and this time, there was going to be four of us!! Maybe because of Itai's explosive energy and Jason and Victoria's entusiasm? Maybe it was just everything! As soon as everyone arrived and was sat round the dinner table, it took off in the most amazing way!!! :-)))  


Love! love! love! the diversity of the group! In my opinion, that is one of the most lovely things about these retreats; all these people from different lives, getting together to share a practice and their stories. True yogi's they were! They were open to everything that was thrown at them (admittedly, they were all a bit wired after!)


Saturday was pretty intense (in a good way) The first practice was at 07:30 with an opening Vinyasa practice with Jason on the tabla. It was an awesome way to wake up to!! The energy in the room lifted immediately and the krama flowed beautifully. We ended the session with a chakra meditation led by Jason with the harmonium - explosive!!! At the end, everyone just looked at each other with wide eyes of joy (including Jason & I) 


That was followed with a meditation with Itai after breakfast followed by an intermediate practice with me, followed by a moving meditation session with Itai, followed by an evening yoga session with me, followed by two hours of divine kirtan with Jason. Yes! :-))) It was pretty intense but it looks like everyone really enjoyed it. We feel so grateful and humbled by the feedback that has been pouring in.


Between all that, the house was filled with hearty laughter. In some bits, utter madness but mostly, just beautiful, blissful laughter! 


I especially enjoyed the experience of working with someone else. I think this is the way forward for me now. It just adds so much more to the event as well. I am so inspired by the weekend and am really looking forward to the journey ahead!! 


The yoga ended with the peace chant Lokah Samasta Sukihno Bhavantu, that filled the house so beautifully........i still feel it in my heart :-)


Big thank you to everyone! It was a gathering of beautiful beings..
xxx